Heart of Darkness of the Catcher in the Rye
by IAmMyst
Summary: Hello members of the fanfiction community. My name is Myst Hannibal Angelweave Ravenclaw. His name was Sherlock Holmes. This is mah storie... Goffik novel stay out preps! *maybe sexy time* Oprah Winfrey book club says most powerful novel ever written.
1. Chapter 1

My name is Myst Hannibal Angelweave, my hair is really long, (almost to my buttocks), and I am super pale with golden eyes and sometimes when I go into the sun I sparkle in the dark. This is because I do not like the sun because pale people do not like the sun duh. I am 17 years old and I go to high-school. All the boys at the high school like me but I don't like dem back because they are immature. "Myst is such a goth bitch" the boys say and the preppy girls are all like "Yah look at her with her perfect alabaster skin and her beautiful dark hair, she think she's so fetch but girl she's really like wtf" (They said double u tee eff, not what the fck!).

So one day I was really depressed so I came to class late with redness ardoun my eyes... all the preps whispered really quitely (but I could hear becz I have good hearing, my mother says) "omg she probably was cutting herself and doing drugsssss).

But then I hear a voice it was very deep and sexi like chocolate in a volcano from a mexican drama (but no mexican accent because that is not cool, only lawnmowers can do that) and I looked up and I saw that my anatomy teacher had been replced by a pale and tall pretty man. He had curly dark hair and pale eyes and the girls in the class were all like ewww his skin is just like Mysts! So pale and porcelian and angel like grossssss...

what I liked most about him though was his dark hair it was so darked it looked like all he did for fun was sit in the corner and listen to MCR (omg MCR!11) and like

I was thinking that this man would be my soulmate.

Then he came over and introduced himself as my new anatomy techer and he said in his very deep and sexi voice...

"my name is Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes. You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen everywhere and i've been to a lot of placed including india" (Because he is a detective and they go places"

So all the boys in my class we're saying stuff like "Eww this is so gross... why Myst? It's not like she's the most beautiful most intelligent most delicate female figure to walk this earth" (They meant to say I was).

So I was really stunned by thisz beautiful detective so I was like okay, lets go listen to some owl city.

And he was like "owl city is my favorite band wow you are so intellectual, you must be the smartest most well educated women I've ever meet because your taste in music is so obscure."

So he took me out of class (in front of everyone) and then he took of my bar and stook his member into my crevice (Ouch1! BUT I Didn't say this becuz I was trying to impress him by being mature) then he raped me, I had babies and that baby was called John Watson.


	2. Chapter 2

My name is John: John Watson. SOME might kno me as emo boy, but my real name is John Hamish Watson. There is a girl in my class called Myst and she is really pretty but she flirts too often with Sherlock, my hawt anatomy teachr. So one day I got angry becuz duh sherlock is mine, so I took my scissors and cut off her hair. But then her eyes started glowing red (rely becuz she was wearing contacts) and then Sherlock said, "john quit b eing a little piece of shyt". So then I got depressed cuz man of my dream called me shyt and I went into bathroom and cried./ I cut myself with the sharpened edges of my good charlotte cd (best band ever! lolol,,, joel is soooo hot) but then the door slammed, and guess who it was... it was Sherlock!

So then sherlock came in and he said,

"I' m sorry my dear watson, I willnev er cheat on yu again" so then we listened to good charlottes girls don't like boys girls like cars and money and we cried because we liked each other but stoopid myst was in the way. and then he took his hand and put in on my cheecki and then he said...

"I am too sexy for my shirt because I work out" (this is tru, isee hiim work out everyday )

and den he takes off his shirt and he looks very raveshin, so I kiss him on the lips and he cannot control himself so we end up having hot dog sex up the bum hole (it's when too men have fornication) and then I go "oh oh oh sherlock this is so awesome !" and he says "yes I kno, now shut up."

and I do shut up because my name is realluy Holden Caulfield and everything was beautiful and nothing hurted. (itellectual quote from kurt vonnegurp, **see I am smarter than you think preps**)


	3. Chapter 3

I am Myst. (btw ii forgot to tell you but me sherlock and watson are in an emo band, I am the singer, the guitarist and the drummer and sherlock is the bass player and watson is the tambourine player).

Okay so I went to school today with my black nail polish, purple mac eyeshadow and blood red lipstick. I did not wear white makeup because I am already pale enough. I wore tall combat boots with spikes coming out of the sole so it looked like I was watching on infinite patch of spikes and I wore tight fishnets and I looked like a goffik mermaid caught in a net. My skirt was very short but not shor tlike that you perverted readers. My top was studded with metal studs. I wore a vial of Sherlock's blood which he gave me I did not take it that''s creepy.

I walked into the bathroom and what did I see...?

My hawtie with John Watson!1 WTF!

So I took my sharpened claws ( I file my nails to look like daggers) and I said,

"what are you doing with my hubbie Watson? u kno he likes me best!"

and I slapped him I slapped him I slapped him. And he said "ouch gurl! Stop doing that u damn prep!" I got so mad I killed him and his blood bathed me and the bathroom wall so Sherlock was aroused by the red blood and we made out in Watson's blood and it tasted like iron (my science teacher says that there is a lot of Fe in blood **smart m**e. ) it was beautiful and I realized at that moment that everyone was a phony and that I was Holden Caulfield. and sherlock was the prostitute.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: okay guys I realiz that rape is not something to joke about... so forget that sherlock raped myst okoky? She said yes.

"Myst!" sherlock called across the campus. I responded flirtily back with a coot smile at my physics teacher, sherlock. I decided that since he was actually an undercover detective that I weould test his skiills of deduction.

I said; 'Sherlock what can you deduce about me?"

and he said " I can deduce that you are smart becuz u listen to the best music! U are also taking challenging classes at the high school so u must want to learn a lot. Also ur makeup and clothes are so fantastic u must be exactly like me,,, goffik and hating preps!" and he was so correct I gave him a hug!

Then Sally Donovan showed up... Dun Dun Dun! (that's supposed to be dramatic music like when something bad happens)

"Ew look at that prep" said sherlock. I said ew too becuz she was wearing a pink jacket.

Sally walked past us. "Freaks" she said.

"Oh my god Sally Donovan, just shut the fuck up u dum bitch!" Sherlock said.

"Yah Sally, go away ur just jealous that u listen to Hiliary duff and cant listen to good music like Gerard Way!"

Sherlock walked away. Then Sally the prep came over to talk to me.

"U better stay away from Sherlock Holmes," she said. "He gets off on it u kno... sherlock... one day there won't be enough for him, and the next time a body is there, sherlock's gonna be the one whose done it"

"Wtf are u talking about u poser!" I said.

Than I saw a dumb boy walk up with fancy glasses and a stupid fur rimmed jacket with pumas. He was a dumb prep and he was Sally's boyfriend.

It was... ANDERSON!


	5. Chapter 5

Anderson looked at me with his black eyelineered eyes. he had piercings on his lips and one in his eyebrow. He was wearing a Fall Out Boy shirt (If u like dem get the fck out! they r such a posr band!) and black skinny jeans.

"Wat ar u doing u redundant dunces?" he cried!

"Shut the fck up u pser Anderson, no one likes u!"

Sherlock came back(don't ask me why) and he had heavy red eyeshadow, black jeans with hevy chains, a pentagram necklace and painted black nails. He was wearing a fishnet shirt with the number 666 on dem. He look relly hot and deprezzed.

"Ohmygawd Sherlock u look soooo hawt!"

"Fangz u" he said. He looked deeply into my pale blue beautiful vampirist irises and i culd see da pain behind dem violet eyes. (he got a new pair of contacts while he was gone that was why he left okay?)

Anderzone got jellyyy and he cried, "Oh I pity u foolss, quit looking at ech other like dat u snarky simpletons!"

Me andd Shergoth wanted 2 make him mad so we start to make out in front of Anderson.

"Gross stop dat u deficient dolts!"

Den Andergoth said ok, " if u guyz stop making out, I will give u dese secret tickets to the next Good Charlotte show at Belgravia."

Oh my gawd I crieddd

Shertanist got sooo happy and he bend down on one knee lik he was proposing(buthewasnot) and started singing in beutiful voice "i just wanna liv"

It was so beaut_ful but the_n someone came...

It was John Gothson!


	6. Chapter 6

(Author'snote :Fangz guys for tde good reviews mwah333,, haters make me famour fck dem poserz u all de best goffiks in da world)

I was preparing 4 de GC concert and I had to weere soemthing sexi... so I put on combat boots that went up to m knees and they had spikes on them and they had had inverted cross es on dem (Get it, cuz i'm the anti-christ!) ok and then I had a butt tightmink skirt,, with a pentageram in da front and I ironed on the panic! At the disco logo on I (omg brendon urine is so hott! almost as hawt as de shergoth) I had on a flourescent black leather pinstripe buckled blood stained ebony colored tube top with spider web embroidery ( My spirit animal is de black widow, because I lik color black and I eat my men... not that wa u pervert).

So den I went to Shergoth's hous to c him and I saw hi outfit so sexi (not lik poser anderson) he had black (like his soul) lined eyes, as if he was crying tar. He waz wearing Fall out Boy tshirt and black tight booty pants. He had on a studded belt buckle and he had doc martens with red flames drawn on them (and painted on pentragram) He had pale makeup( but he didn't need because he was already a white man ). Also, he died the tip of his hair with red streaks. He had golden eyes (new contacts).

"oh my gawd so sexi Shergoth!" I xclaimedd.

"u look so goffik" he sed.

He become so overcome with my goffkness he he cut his rists in front of me dedicated his blood to sacri fice of my ethereal beauty.

On da way 2 de concert in Belgoffia. (Lolol) I saw prepz Mycroft. He look at me,,see how sexi I am, and want mah body. So he grabbed me (ii am very light because I olny drink blood) and he took me to a van painted with '"66666666666" okay. Shergoth was screaming Noo brother that iz my gurlfrend. So then mycroft force me to take off shoes and I had to play with my toes in front of webcamera! Then he startinh masturburping. Sherlock chase the van while this happen. He run so fast! Like hyena (but goth).. I look out window and scream "shergoth! Shergoth!" and I see in hiz eyes limppid tears, like a dark angel I could see de pain and suffering in deeeemmm. But I had hope becuz he was a detective and then Mycroft screams,

"U BELONG WIT ME...SHERLOCKIS SECRETLY PREPZZZZ.. DON'T STAY WITH DAT POZER`!"

den he force kissy on me.


	7. Chapter 7

*Author note... some hck my account and wrote some shyttt.. fckign prep! every1 kno that shergoth is in luvvvvvv with Myst. Plz ignore dat last chap oky. (de grammr and splling is horrendous! and not enuff sexytime)*

shergoth was so worried dat Myst was being kidnapped by Mycroft. He try to run as fast as the car, but he goffiks don't relly exercise dat much (xcept for mosshing yeahh!) and he coldn't catch up.

But he was a detectiv so he knew wat to do.

he took out his smartfone and google...mycroft house.

(wat a genius, ! he thought in his hed)

So he grew out his goth black demon wings and fly to mycrof thousewhen he enter he see mycroft saying to bella... "I love u myst! oh won't u ditch shergoth he a super pozer, i walk in on him and he waz listening to paparoach!"

Myst screeem ,.""" noooo y ou kno i luv shertanist and no one else!" "He is my booo."

Shergoth was so proud of his gfff he almost tered up on the spot, but goth boys don't cry.

Myst started tering up, (her face crying waz so beautiful, like the concentrated sadness of a little goffik lucifa) she cry, "why dis happen to me? why so many people love me when my luv is only for shergoth? why must i be so pretty and perfect all around?"

Shergoth cred, "Don say that Bella! Dat is why i luv u!"

Shergoth took out his throwing nives(shaped as halves of a broken hart *lik his*) and he try to throw them at mycroft.

but mycroft escape!

"STOP IT YOU CANNOT KILL ME!" he cred!

"and just why not?" qwestion sherlock.

"BECAUSE...I AM UR FADER!"


End file.
